Tips for Parents During Shared Custody: Knowing What’s Best for the Children

Co-parenting after a divorce is one of the hardest things us adults go through in life, but McKean Family Law is here to tell you that with some solid shared custody advice, you can give your children the stability, security and close relationships – with both parents – that they need.

Co-parenting (that is, both parents playing an active role in their children’s daily lives) is the best way to ensure that all your kids’ needs are met while enabling them to retain close relationships with both you and your ex-spouse – unless your family has faced serious issues such as domestic violence or substance abuse. The quality of the relationship between co-parents can also have a significant influence on the mental and emotional well-being of children, as well as the incidence of anxiety and depression. Of course, putting aside relationship issues for a moment, co-parenting is agreeably easier said than done…especially after an acrimonious split.

Some of the challenges that face ex-couples in this situation can include:

• Making shared decisions
• Interacting with each other at drop-offs
• Speaking to a person he/she would rather forget all about

For the sake of kids’ well-being, though, it’s important that couples overcome at least some of these co-parenting challenges and develop a cordial working relationship with one another. The following tips from the experts at McKean Family Law can help you remain calm, stay consistent and resolve conflicts if you find yourself in such a situation…all while making joint custody work and enabling your children to thrive.

• Set Hurt and Anger Aside – Co-parenting success boils down to this: your own emotions – i.e. anger, resentment or hurt – must take a back seat to the needs of your children. We understand that setting aside such strong feelings may be the hardest part of learning to work cooperatively with your ex, but it is also perhaps the most vital. Separate your feelings from behavior, get your feelings out somewhere else (therapy, exercise, etc.), stay kid-focused and don’t put your children in the middle.
• Improve Communication with Your Co-Parent – This all begins with your mindset: think about communication with your ex as having the highest purpose, which is your child’s well-being. Some communication methods we can suggest include setting a business-like tone, making requests rather than demands, listening to the other person and exhibiting restraint when it comes to overreacting.
• Co-Parent as a Team – When aiming for consistency, geniality and teamwork with your co-parent, the details surrounding child-rearing decisions often fall into place; indeed, we understand that parenting is full of decisions you’ll have to make with an ex, whether you like each other or not, so cooperating and communicating without explosive arguments or bickering makes decision-making far easier on everyone involved.

 

Family law in Roseville is being spearheaded today by McKean Family Law, providing all legal services including divorce, child custody and other family matters. If you are in need of a divorce attorney in Roseville, don’t hesitate to contact us at (916) 666-7874 or stop by our office, located at 3300 Douglas Boulevard Suite 115 in Roseville, CA.